I find it fascinating how much we prepare for weddings and how little we prepare for pregnancy collectively, especially given that these two milestones happen at a similar timeframe / life stage for most people. To be clear - this is not a judgment, more an observation and a curiosity as to what drives these behaviors. Cultural and societal traditions seem to influence many of our behaviors, probably more so than we even realize.
Let’s dive into the world of weddings for a moment.
According to Zola, a leading wedding planning company, the average wedding currently costs $33,000. Top wedding expenses usually include: the wedding venue ($6,500–$12,000), the catering ($6,500–$10,000), the band or DJ ($2,000–$7,000), and the photographer ($3,500–$6,500).
According to Zola, most people will pay for their weddings using some combination of the following:
31.95% will utilize credit cards
50.37% have saved for years to prepare
16.69% are including cash funds on their registries to cover wedding costs
Now that we’ve discussed cost, what about timeline? How far in advance do people prepare for their weddings? According to The Knot, another wedding planning resource, the average length of engagement is 15 months. When it comes to preparing, there are a host of checklists to help guide you through the entire process. This ultimate wedding planning checklist from Zola is a good comprehensive example. It starts ~1 year prior to the wedding and walks you through each of the different steps in detail.
Here is the question I have: What if planning to get pregnant was also the norm? What would it look like if we spent a similar amount of money ($33,000) and a similar amount of time (15 months) planning to get pregnant like we plan for our weddings?
I’m guessing that sounds WILD to most people. $33,000 to prepare to conceive? What would I even spend that money on? 15 months? What would I be doing for all that time?
These are great questions. I’m not necessarily saying that you should spend $33,000 to prepare to conceive…I’m simply asking the question - what could that look like?
Maybe it includes some of the following items:
- Investing in preconception testing for you and your partner
- Investing in preconception supplementation
- Working with a nutritionist or health coach to optimize your pre-pregnancy wellness
- Experimenting with acupuncture to regulate your cycles and reduce stress
- Increasing your food budget to include organic produce
- Allocating budget to switch to fertility-friendly personal care and home care products
- Taking a course on optimizing menstrual cycle health
- Purchasing ovulation tracking tools to better understand your patterns
- Investing in a gym membership, home gym or online fitness membership
- Investing in therapy to work through your relationship with your own parents and / or your fears about becoming a parent
- Investing in couples therapy to open the dialogue and ensure you are on the same page with your partner about parenting
- Upgrading your home space to be more welcoming to a future family
In the future, I envision a world where everyone prepares to conceive like they prepare for a wedding. I acknowledge that we have a ways to go to get there, but it is closer than it’s ever been before. Just like with a magical wedding, a whole new world of possibility opens up when we consciously and intentionally plan for our next steps. I am excited to support and help set the stage for those who are interested in this future.